The Fear Beneath Ambition | What Top Performers Won't Admit

Have you ever noticed how much pressure there is to be the best?

To be number one.
The most successful.
The most visible.
The one who’s winning.

Sure! maybe on the outside, it looks like ambition.
Looks like you have a drive.
You have high standards.

But today, I want to talk about what often lives beneath the need to be number one.

Because underneath that desire, what I often see in women is actually fear. And it’s important to address these fears because it will keep you from reaching your potential!

LISTEN TO THE PODCAST

WATCH THE EPISODE

For so many high-achieving women, the fear isn’t failure.

It’s being overlooked.

It’s the quiet fear of:

Being forgotten
Being replaced
Being invisible
Doing meaningful and hard work… and having no one notice

So striving to be the best becomes a form of protection.

“If I’m the top performer, they can’t ignore me.”
“If I’m exceptional, I’ll be safe.”
“If I’m number one, I’ll finally matter.”

This is not about ego.
It’s about scarcity.

Scarcity tells us:
“There’s only room for one.”
“There’s not enough attention.”
“If someone else wins, I lose.”

Scarcity creates comparison.
Comparison creates urgency.
Urgency leads to exhaustion.

And suddenly, your work is no longer rooted in meaning, it’s rooted in fear of losing.

Fear of falling behind.
Fear of not being chosen.
Fear of disappearing.

Fear of not being good enough.

Fear of what others will think of you.

But here’s the truth that changed everything for me:

You don’t need to be the best to be valuable.
You need to be aligned.

Let’s talk about visibility.

Many women feel torn between wanting to be seen and not wanting to perform for approval.

So we overcompensate.

We push ourselves harder.
We speak louder.
We chase metrics instead of meaning.

But visibility that requires you to give up yourself
will never feel satisfying in the long run.

Real confidence isn’t about being the loudest voice in the room.

It’s about trusting that your voice matters, even in stillnes, even if you are not #1

When you stop trying to outshine others,
you create space to stand firmly in your own work.

Doing Meaningful Work Without Needing Validation

What if your work didn’t need applause to be worthy?

What if impact mattered more than recognition?

When you stop needing validation:

You make braver choices
You take fewer shortcuts
You create from integrity, not urgency

You stop asking:
“Will this be impressive?”

And you start asking:
“Is this true?”
“Is this aligned?”
“Does this serve?”

And something powerful happens…

Your work becomes deeper.
Your energy becomes steadier.
Your confidence becomes unshakeable.

What You Gain When You Stop Trying to Be the Best

When you stop trying to be number one, you gain:

Peace.
No more constant comparison.

Clarity.
You know why you’re doing what you’re doing.

Longevity.
You stop burning yourself out to prove something.

Trust.
In your timing. In your path. In your voice.

You stop competing for attention
and start attracting the people who are meant for you.

Because the goal was never to be the best.

The goal was to be fully yourself, without fear.

A Gentle Reframe

Instead of asking:
“How do I become number one?”

Try asking:
“How do I do my work with honesty?”
“How do I show up without shrinking or forcing?”
“How do I lead with calm confidence instead of fear?”

Because when you release the need to be the best,
you create something far more powerful:

Sustainable confidence.
Meaningful impact.
And a sense of enoughness—right where you are.

If this episode resonated, I invite you to reflect:
Where in your life are you striving out of fear…
instead of grounded belief?

And what might open up
if you stopped trying to be the best
and simply allowed yourself to be true?

Thank you for being here.
I’ll talk to you in the next episode.