179. How To Stop People Pleasing

People-pleasing is a behavior characterized by an excessive desire to comply with the wishes and demands of others, often at the expense of your own needs and desires.

Some signs that you may be engaging in people-pleasing behaviors:

Difficulty saying “no” to requests or demands, even when they are unreasonable, undesirable or inconvenient.
A tendency to prioritize others’ needs and wants over your own.
A feeling of anxiety or discomfort when you are unable to meet those expectations of others.
A tendency to sacrifice your own goals or values in order to please others.
A reluctance to express your own opinions or thoughts, even when asked for them.
A tendency to seek approval and validation from others, rather than feeling confident in your own decisions and actions.

If you recognize these behaviors in yourself, it may be a sign that you are engaging in people-pleasing behaviors. It is important to recognize and address these behaviors, as they can lead to feelings of resentment, burnout, and a lack of personal fulfillment.

Many people prefer making up excuses later to get out of a commitment instead of just saying no from the beginning. This is a bad habit and can be a difficult habit to break, but it’s important to be able to set boundaries and take care of yourself.

Here are some tips for stopping people-pleasing:

Identify your motivations: It can be helpful to understand why you tend to people-please. Are you seeking validation or approval from others? Do you have a hard time saying no? Understanding your motivations can help you identify the root causes of your people-pleasing behavior and develop strategies for addressing them.
Set boundaries: One of the most effective ways to stop people-pleasing is to set clear boundaries for yourself. Decide what you are and are not willing to do, and communicate these boundaries to others. Remember that it’s okay to say no and to prioritize your own needs and well-being.
Practice self-care: Taking care of yourself is an important part of setting and maintaining boundaries. Make time for activities that nourish and replenish you, and prioritize your own well-being.
Be patient with yourself: Changing any habit takes time, and it’s important to be patient and kind to yourself as you work on breaking the habit of people-pleasing. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you slip up or struggle at times, and remember that progress is often made gradually.
Seek support: It can be helpful to seek support from a therapist or other trusted individual when trying to stop people-pleasing. They can provide guidance and help you develop strategies for setting and enforcing boundaries.