174. Stop Feeling Regret

If we want to stop feeling regret we need to understand why we feel regret in the first place.

Regret is a negative emotion that occurs when you believe your past actions or behaviors or decisions, if changed, may have achieved a better outcome or result or especially in your current situation.

Regret is often closely associated with feelings of guilt and shame.

When it involves someone else we often express the emotion of regret to others in the form of an apology. When the regret is in our own decision, we often hold on to these negative feelings for a long time and therefore will lead to unhealthy mental health.

Regret can have damaging effects on our mind and body when it turns into useless rumination and self-blame that keeps us from re-engaging with actually living our current life. This pattern can be repetitive, negative, and if persistent can lead to thinking with characteristics of depression.

The reason why regret feels so awful is because, by its nature, it implies that there is something you could have done, some choice you could have made, or some action you could have taken that would have made, of something you should have done to make better things happen or avoided something terrible.

If you have noticed my language, there was a lot of could haves, would haves should haves in what I just said and these words are dangerous dead words to be used when ruminating the past. These words put blame on yourself and keep you stuck in the negative spiral about your past instead of being more mindful in the present and future goal focused.

Here are some suggestions for how to cope with and move past feelings of regret:

Acknowledge and accept your feelings: It’s okay to feel regretful. Allow yourself to experience and express these emotions, rather than trying to suppress or ignore them because we all have experienced them in life before.
Reflect on the situation: Take some time to think about what happened and what you could have done differently. Try to be honest with yourself and avoid blaming others or making excuses.
Learn from the experience: Consider what you can learn from the situation and how you can apply those lessons in the future. Remember that we all make mistakes and it’s a natural part of life.
Make amends, if possible: If your actions had a negative impact on someone else, consider whether there is anything you can do to make things right. This may involve apologizing or offering some form of compensation.
Move forward: Once you have reflected on the situation and taken any appropriate action, try to let go of the regret and focus on the present. It’s important to remember that you can’t change the past, but you can choose how you respond to it.
Seek help: It can be helpful to talk to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist or life coach about your feelings of regret. Get support and a different perspective as you work through your emotions and find ways to move forward.