287. Is There Work Life Balance in Life? with Chantell Preston

Today we are here to dive deep into the realities of balancing professional success with personal fulfillment with my guest growth strategist, leadership advocate, Tedx and keynote speaker Chantell Preston.

From founding, scaling, and exiting several ventures to overseeing multimillion-dollar facilities to serving on multiple boards, Chantell has made it her mission to advocate for authenticity among women leading in the workforce. She has won many awards for her leadership work and has been featured in numerous news outlets such as nbc, abc, fox, you name it. 

LISTEN TO THE PODCAST

WATCH THE EPISODE

FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Hello, hello, beautiful souls. Today, we’re here to dive into the realities of balancing professional success with personal fulfillment with my guest, world strategist, leadership advocate, TEDx and keynote speaker, Chantal Preston. From founding, scaling, and exiting several ventures to overseeing multimillion dollar facilities to serving on multiple boards, Chantal has made it her mission to advocate for authenticity among women leading in the workforce.

She has won many awards for her leadership work and has been featured in numerous news outlets such as NBC, ABC Fox, you name it. I am so honored to have her with me today. Welcome to the show, Chantal.

Thank you, Lucy. Thank you for having me. All right, I’m gonna go straight into what I really am passionate about.

And I want you to debunk some myth for women listening. What misconceptions do you think most high achievers have about work-life balance?

Well, first of all, to be honest, I don’t think work-life balance even exists. I think you have to look at it as how can I achieve a work-life integration? I think in the old days, we used to say, okay, leave it at the door, whether it’s work, whether it’s home, leave it at the door.

And we just realized that that just doesn’t happen. Especially as women, we’ve got 900 things going on. And so how do we integrate the two together to make sure A, we keep our sanity, but also we’re productive in both aspects.

So I try to avoid using the word balance. It’s more like how can we integrate the two together to really be successful?

I love your answer because I feel the same way. I don’t feel like there’s that equilibrium, that magic spot, but we’re integrating and we’re choosing our priorities.

That’s right. And sometimes it’s 80% one way or the other. And I think that there’s key components that we as women and entrepreneurs need to do to really control our time and make sure that, again, you said it a minute ago, what are our priorities, both at home, but also in the workplace?

Yes, and many women chase success, but end up feeling empty. What does true success mean to you now compared to earlier in your career?

Oh gosh, I love this question because earlier in my career, it was all about success was money and title. That was it. That’s how I grew up.

That’s what I thought it had to be. And to be honest, when I reached what I consider the pinnacle of my career, I felt so alone because I had reached it and I was like, now what? And so I didn’t never step back to determine what does success mean to me?

As kids, we’re society, our parents, everyone around us tells us who we should be. And so we thrive of trying to get that. But then we reach a certain point in our life and we’re like, wait a minute, what’s the success mean to me?

And so earlier in my life, it was all about money and career or money and title. Now it’s really about what brings me positive energy? What brings me purpose?

I wanna surround myself with people that I enjoy being with. Now, again, there’s a balance to that because you can’t always be around everyone that you love every day, all day, especially at work. But how can I have a mindset around happiness, optimism, and also confidence in myself of knowing what my purpose is and knowing how to get there?

I love one of the word you mentioned, by the way, pinnacle. I love this word. It just gives me the vibes to reach for higher goals.

Yet we forget on our way to climb this mountain towards that peak, we need to stop and enjoy the journey. It’s about the journey. It’s about the people that’s coming with us on this journey.

And even if you take a wrong turn, feel free to just still enjoy the scenery.

And to be honest, Lizzie, that was the one thing I didn’t do in the first half of my career. I was so focused on that outcome. It was like, I woke up one day and I was like, wait, what just happened to 25 years of my life?

Even though I had reached this in my career, I had this five-year-old child that I’m like, wait, what do you eat for lunch? And I hate to even admit that, but I was so engrossed in the outcome that I didn’t really enjoy the journey. I didn’t realize how important connection was, relationships, I never networked, why?

Because I didn’t think I needed to. So all of the things that I learned by kind of mistakes are things that I changed in the second half or the second phase of life with my other companies of how can I be a better leader? How can I be more engaging and more relatable?

Because those were the things I weren’t. I was very standoffish, my way or no way, kind of like a little dictator. And now it’s like, wait a minute, I’m gonna be who I am and that’s be compassionate and care about people as a whole and who they are.

And really I’ve seen just the productivity, the enjoyment, everything with not just myself, but my staff just twofold. And so I think that that’s important that we realize, utilize the innate qualities that we have as a women to really be better leaders.

And I think sometimes we forget that. So what exactly, what inner shifts or mindset changes that helped you the most to start prioritizing your life and finding joy in both your personal and workplace, but without losing your ambition?

I think it was really sitting down and thinking about where am I, what’s the season that I’m in? What right now is happening? I call it the win strategy.

What’s important now? Where are my kids? What age are they at?

Where are they? Do they need me more now than they will later? I mean, you really have to step back and say, where is the season of my life, am I?

And I never did that originally, but now as I really evaluate opportunities that come around as to how does this fit into where I am now and the goals that I’m trying to achieve? And I think sometimes we forget, we set long-term goals, but we forget to set short-term goals in regards to, three, five years is great. We don’t know what’s gonna happen in the next three to five years.

I think we’ve learned that recently, but what’s the next six months, the next three months? What do I need to do right now in the season that I’m in to make sure that I’m reaching the goals in both aspects of my life?

Yes, I love everything you just said because we gotta honor every season of our life. And I think for women, that is to really feel you are enough in this season. And I always say I define enough, quote unquote, as a decision.

How do you personally define enough? Enough work, enough rest, enough achievement in life?

You know, for all of us type A-ers, that’s a hard one. I’m not gonna lie. You know, it’s really about what’s enough to me is where I feel at peace.

You know, we live in such a fast-paced world. I always, and I had to do this recently, just full disclosure, sometimes we just busy. We’re busy, busy, busy, because we feel like that’s productivity.

And I had to sit back and go, wait, am I busy to be busy or am I busy because I’m being intentional with my time and I’m achieving the goals that I’ve established? And so I think that the mindset of being very intentional and not worrying about, you know, saying no to things, especially when they don’t reach your goals and objectives, you know, and having self-compassion for me and also taking time for me of having that space to maybe it’s 30 minutes, maybe it’s 10 minutes of just sitting back and saying, okay, let’s think about where I am today. Where do I wanna be?

And really being intentional with my time and my calendar.

And while you are working on your goals, what boundaries or habits were hardest for you to implement?

Well, I think that the biggest one for me was saying no. I love to help people. So people would ask me to do, I’d be, yes, shiny penny, yes.

And then I would get home and be like, oh my gosh, why did I do that? I don’t have the time or the capacity to do this or the desire, frankly. So I had to teach myself certain techniques of when someone asked me to do something, I have to say, let me check my calendar and it gives me an opportunity to stop and really think about, do I have time to do this?

Do I wanna do this? Does it meet my goals? And also reframing my own mindset is that me saying no is not a negative, it’s an opportunity for someone else, someone else that really wants to do it.

And so that’s really been my biggest challenge over the last, let’s just say 50 some years is really saying no and not feeling guilty about it. And I think that mindset shift really helped me be who I am and be true to me.

Oh, wow. How do you manage to really manage the guilt that may come from saying no afterward to opportunities?

I think it’s really about, the guilt is gonna be there sometimes. How do I manage, let me say, how do I manage the guilt? Guilt means I care, I care about people.

I do give myself some self-compassion, but I also realized that saying yes to something is saying no to something else. And so again, it’s like I manage that guilt by realizing if I say yes to something, maybe it’s taking away time from my kids. I’m very intentional with my kids.

I’m not a parent that wants to drive them to soccer practice or basketball, but I’ll be at every game. I look at quality over quantity. And when I’m with my kids or I’m with someone else, one of my employees, I am very there.

Emotionally, I’m listening, I’m listening to hear them. And I think that that’s important and something that we take for granted. We think we have to be everywhere to everyone, but it’s really, I guess I get past the guilt by saying I am emotionally available when I am present with people.

And I think that’s what helps me give myself self-compassion.

Self-compassion, I love that. That’s beautifully said. What are some other daily or weekly practices that helped you reconnect with yourself outside of work, outside of your professional title?

So I started doing this about five, six years ago is I set a time in my week, every week, to spend time with myself. And we seem to always put everybody else before ourselves, right? And so it’s like, we don’t cancel meetings with clients.

We don’t cancel meetings with employees. Why am I canceling meetings with myself? Myself is the most important.

So most mornings I have 30 to 45 minutes where I either go for a walk, it could be exercise, which stimulates me in so many different ways. It could be finishing emails. It could just be doing my things, but giving me time for me to see and prepare for the day or prepare for the week or something that’s coming up.

I just set on my calendar a meeting with myself and I know that that’s probably the most important meeting of the week.

Yes, so that’s how you recharge. I recharge with my walks as well. I recharge with my non-negotiable facials and spa appointments.

They’re non-negotiable, right?

But we think that why should we put ourselves last? I mean, I think we grew up like that. I would say yes to everything and put everybody else before us, but the reality is, is the better we are mentally and physically, the better we’re gonna be for everyone else.

And I just had to learn that over the years and now that’s a critical component to my life.

Yes, I agree with you wholeheartedly. How about community? What role does community play in maintaining your balance?

I think community is huge.

I’m a big one for build your board of directors, right? And this is on the work side, build your board of directors. And these are not yes people.

These are people that challenge you. These are people that are there for you. I’m a huge proponent for making sure you have that community both at work and at home.

Like I tell people all the time, it takes a village to raise a family. So we need help and it’s okay to ask for help. I think a lot of women, and I was like this for many, many years.

And finally, I just, I threw in the white towel, you know, hey, look, I need help. We can’t, you know, have these huge careers and children and be able to do it all. So build that community around you at work like-minded people.

And sometimes they’re hard to find. I’ve realized throughout the years, not everybody wants you to be successful. And sometimes it’s people that are very close to you.

So make sure you’re surrounding yourself with people that are like-minded, that have the same values that you do, but also challenge you and push you to be better. And I think that’s incredibly important in your career. On the personal side, same thing.

I mean, I wanna be a better parent every day. I wanna be a better spouse. So surround yourself with the right people and that community will become, you are who you hang out with.

And I tell my kids that all the time. And I think it’s important for us as adults to remember that too.

Yes, I can’t agree more. I am so grateful for my family to be able to step in and help when I need to, but I’m not afraid to ask for help. Exactly.

Awesome, so for the women who is chasing their next milestone, what is one question you wish more people asked themselves about before they do the chasing?

Are you prepared mentally? It’s not all unicorns and rainbows. And I think it’s important to be realistic with your expectations.

I think sometimes we get crazy with our expectations and it’s like, hey, you don’t have to eat the elephant all at once. Take a bite at a time. But also we have a tendency to make sure we want everything to be perfect before we start.

And I tell women all the time, start before you’re ready. Start talking to people, start networking. You never know who you’re gonna meet and how they can help you down the line.

Build those relationships. I wished more people would have asked me, what are you doing? How are you doing it?

But now I realize people don’t know what to ask. So it’s okay to ask for help or want to say, hey, I’d love to get together. People want to help you.

It’s just you have to be the one to initiate that. That is so true. Like I give my clients access in between coaching sessions by email and only a few of the rock stars would actually do it often in between to ask me questions.

And I get so excited when I receive an email and they ask me some questions.

Exactly. And women, we want to start opening the doors for each other. Let’s help each other continue to be successful.

I’ve been in rooms with women, high powered women. And it’s funny to me because they’ll talk about everything except for their business. And I’ll be like, we’re not talking about our families.

We’re not gonna talk about our hobbies. We’re gonna talk about asks. We’re gonna talk about how can I support you?

Call to action. How can we help each other? And I think that it’s very important to learn how to make that ask of people.

Because again, I was very hesitant. I’ll do it all myself. I don’t want to bother people.

People want to help you. It’s just you have to be secure enough to ask those questions. And again, you can be your own advocate.

You need to be your own advocate, plain and simple.

Yes. And I think as we age, we continue to redefine success. We continue to redefine our ambition in a way that honors more of both our achievement and well-being.

Would you agree?

Absolutely. And I do think you get to a certain age and you’re like, wait, why am I doing this for everyone else? And my kids ask me all the time, why are you working?

We want you to stay with us. One day I finally sat him down and said, hey guys, this is why I’m doing this. I love to work.

And I love having a purpose. And I want to help other women because I want you guys to grow up. I have three daughters.

And never question your ability and always have someone that’s there that’s willing to help you. And it’s made a huge difference in our family because now they understand and I brought them into that world. So now they’re excited when they hear that I’m going to meet somebody or I’m helping someone.

I think it’s important for us to do that and be those good role models.

I’m feeling like everything you just said because I have a daughter and she dresses me when I go to conferences, she gets so excited that mama’s going out looking all pretty and powerful. And I want her to be the exact same way when she grows up. So we are setting an example of what we would like to see in the world.

I love the fact that your daughter does that because my daughters are my designers. And so thank you for making me not feel bad about that because they’re the ones always picking out my outfits.

Exactly.

I’m not the only one. So yeah, and they love it.

And I think that’s just so important. Oh, so much truth. I love it.

Okay, so before I ask you for your favorite quote, what’s one truth about success and fulfillment you wish every listener learned sooner?

I think it’s that success isn’t always what you think it will be at the end of the day. You always have to be looking around at the opportunities because sometimes what we envision as success, if we have such an eye on that, we miss out on other things. So I think that you have to keep an open mind as you’re going down this journey and path to make sure that you’re not solely focused on one thing, which again, I gotta be careful saying that because you obviously wanna be focused on something, but make sure that you don’t forget about the surroundings and the journey and what could come about during that process.

Mm, yes. Be open to open some new doors. That’s exactly right.

Awesome, okay. So what is your favorite quote?

Oh my gosh, I have so many. I would have to say probably, my favorite quote is living the dream. I mean, I love waking up every day.

I love working and I want everyone else to be the same way. I want everyone to be living that dream. It’s not really a quote, it’s more of a saying, I guess, but that’s something that helps me every day.

And I think it helps my mindset stay very positive even in negative things. So as long as I’m living that dream and I realize that I woke up breathing, it’s a great day. Just that gratitude really helps me.

So anything pertaining to gratitude, I think really helps me and that’s probably what I would stick with.

Beautifully said. Yes, all the yeses. And if you’ve enjoyed this episode, connect with Chantel.

Where is the best place for our listeners to go?

LinkedIn, Instagram, Chantell Preston. I also have a podcast as well, Get Real Get Results. So feel free to reach out anyway.

Thank you. 

Thanks, Lucy.